My friend Jason has written a brilliant blog post, but most important – he needs help.

Please read the post and consider if you can help him with his fund-raiser.

***

Hi, I’m Jason “J-Ryze” Fonceca, and I’ve posted on SlyMarketing before.

Jason "J-Ryze" Fonceca Headshot

I’ve gone deeper down the rabbit hole this time. Below you’ll learn 3 rare but powerful ways to deal with fear and terror.

Take a breath.

Make it a deep one.

Or three.

Because every. single. fear. that scares you?

I’m living it.

And have been for a long time.

  • Afraid of losing your home? I’m there.
  • Afraid of starving? I’m there.
  • Afraid of cold, sleepless nights in parks? I’m there.
  • Afraid of losing all your comforts & possessions? I’m there.
  • Afraid of losing your life’s work? I’m there.
  • Afraid of looking like a fraud? Failing at everything?
  • Afraid of drama? Jail? Abuse?

I’m there, I’m there, I’m there.

  • Afraid of being alone, disowned, support-less?

I’m there too.

And this isn’t some great success story that inspires everyone, with some shiny rainbow on the other side — this is me in the trenches — I’m living those fears right now.

As I write this, I’m homeless, guest-posting on SlyMarketing from an internet cafe; recently robbed of my laptop/life’s work — with barely more than the clothes on my back.

It’s scary.

Here’s the thing about all these fears…

Not a single one of them stopped me from helping people.

Did they bring me moments of discomfort and pain? Sure.

Did they make it more difficult? Definitely.

But did they stop me from coaching, posting, or paying the bills on my mailing list?

Why didn’t they crush me?

Because I applied 3 simple, but super-powerful, ideas.

I imagine you’re interested, so I’m gonna share ‘em with you.

1. Embrace, accept, and express your pain.

You think your power is your schooling? Hah. You think your power is your resources? Money? Time? Possessions? Not really.

Your pains, quirks, shames, and neuroses are your super-powers.

And your powers don’t work unless you use them.

Are you using your pains?

Maybe you think you are, but you’re not really.

To use them, you gotta go big, or go home. This isn’t something you can half-ass.

Creatively share those pains wherever you get the chance.

For example – Eminem’s pains, when expressed in a song generate the buzz, controversy, and emotional impact that makes him money.

Or in my case - I got vulnerable, real, and raw and shared my stories and people started fund-raising for me, to help me Ryze.

2. Nothing you do matters.

Maybe you’re familiar with this quote:

“The best laid schemes of mice and men / Often go awry” – Steinbeck

or this one:

Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men;” – Corinthians 3:19

or this one:

“Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

All three of these quotes are trying to tell you that all your learning, all your knowledge, all your expertise, will one day, at some point, be clearly and ultimately useless to help fulfill and satisfy you.

Things WILL suck at some point in your life. The sooner you make peace with that, the better.

It doesn’t mean “never learn” or “never lean on expertise”, but it does mean to pay attention to the down times of life. They happen for a reason, they’re not something you can avoid, and they may not even be something you can ‘speed through.’

I have no clear idea why I am where I am.

I feel I’ve done “everything right” and “followed my heart”, and it led me here.

There are some people who think they can explain why I dont have basic comforts, or why I have 8 failed businesses under my belt, or why my cell-phone stopped working no matter what I invested or what creative solutions I did to keep it functioning.

They think they can explain everything away, they think that my plans and actions matter. But they don’t realize cool idea to help you rock fear… number 3.

3. Life is a mystery.

Predicting the future really sucks.

I don’t recommend it.

People put hoard money away, because they think it’ll save them from disaster.

I’ve got news for you – life is a mystery, and anyone can meet disaster, for reasons that aren’t clear until long after. Richard Branson’s a man who’s done tremendous good, and invests very carefully in taking care of his possessions… had his house burn down. Why?

People often think the partner they’re with is “the one” when really they’re just “the one who breaks you down.” — or vice-versa.

News again: rarely is anything nice and neat in relationships, emotional growth, or business — no matter how bad you want it to be. Rare is the case where the guy or girl you meet when you’re 18, is the one you stick with. Those stories exist, sure, but what are they chances you’re one of them? When you really get down to it, and examine yourself, does that path suit you?

People wont do the #1 activity they love, because they’re worried that they’re ‘wasting time’.

Final news flash: You don’t know how long you have on this planet. You don’t know if you’ll end up like Aron Ralston, arm suddenly taken from you. If you want to enjoy your moments, go out and invest in the things you love.

The point of all this?

Fear exists, but it doesn’t have to stop you, or even cripple you.

But embracing your pain, realizing nothing matters and that life’s a mystery — helps a LOT.

But no one teaches you this stuff.

Everyone’s so busy trying to “solve your problems”, “be the expert” and “create actionable content” for you, that they’ve forgotten to let you experience the magic of life.

Most people have forgotten to embrace and allow the “down cycles” of life, and they’ve forgotten to make room for that in the lives of others.

How well am I expected to market myself, when very little is going my way? How well am I expected to market myself wht I’m in one of life’s down cycles?

The point is — I’m not.

Sometimes we’re supposed to be at the mercy, and mystery of life.

Unpopular to say? Maybe. Not something people wanna hear? Probably. Useless? Unactionable? Impractical? If you want.

But in a sea of “do this’s” and “do that’s”, it’s necessary.

So I’m open to the fear, and living through it.

And somehow, unexplainably, I am helped.

  • Suddenly, people are fund-raising for me.
  • Suddenly people are praising me in blog posts.
  • Suddenly, I have more consistent funds pouring into my paypal than I have in months.

And you know what? I’m not ashamed of any of it. I help people with every breath, and if you wanna help me, here’s how:

My friend James “Comeback Coach” Holland, has put together a fund-raiser to help me and Ryze.

Click here to get James’ incredible Interview Product (with exclusive Ryze content) – The 30-Day Comeback at a large discount, with 100% of the proceeds going to Ryze.

I’m ultra-touched, I’m feelin’ the love and I deeply appreciate any attention, donations, or help of any kind.

Either way– I trust you enjoyed this post, and I wish you all kinds of success.

Thanks so much Jens, for the chance to share, and thank YOU for your attention. I’d love any feedback in the comments.

The one thing

My best marketing tips are featured in my weekly newsletter. It's completely free to join.

Comments

  1. Thank you so much for the opportunity to share my story, Jens. I really appreciate it :)

  2. Hi Jason,
    I am sorry about the hard times but I love the attitude. That makes a significant difference. When you don’t see yourself as a victim you don’t become one.

    • Thanks so much, Josh :)

      Any feedback, comments, tweets, positive vibes, all help. I really appreciate this.

      As for attitude, I see it like this:

      To whom much is given, much is tested :) – Ancient wisdom.
      The greater the fears, the greater the hero. – New version ;)

      Keep ryzin’!

  3. Hi Jason, How wonderful to see you over here at Sly Martketing. You know you have my support, my friend. You are a shining example of how people overcome their worst fears and Ryze up to face their challenges.

    I am so sorry these terrible events have happened to you but you inspire us with your positive attitude.

    Many blessings to you, Jason! (((hugs))))

    • Thank you so much, Carolyn — it’s awesome to see you anywhere!

      I’m blessed to meet and connect with so many awesome, passionate, downright loving people, yourself included.

      Thank you. Thank you :)

  4. Hey Jason,

    Great to see you over here at Jens’ place now. I’m so proud of you even though you are dealing with some really rough times right now. You know, if you were here in Houston I’d give you a place to crash! Who wouldn’t want to help a fellow blogger in need!

    Love your attitude and you have so many people behind you. I donated over on Sonia’s site but wanted to do a little more then the product price so hope it will help.

    Hang in there my friend. There are plenty of prayers coming your way!

    ~Adrienne

    • Thank you!

      Adrienne! I’ll write you personally, but here’s my public thank you!

      I actually feel my shoulders relax and my burden physically lighten, Adrienne.

      I deeply appreciate your kind words and going the extra mile with assistance, no judgment and no questions asked – I really feel the human-to-human connection and it means the world to me.

      I remember awhile ago when you got an award from Danny’s audience for ‘engagement’, and every time I swing by your site, I see it, and everytime I see you in the comments somewhere, I see it.

      You’re such an amazing example, in so many ways. Thanks again.

      • Thank you Jason, I did get your personal email.

        Life gets in the way from time to time Jason and I would just hope that if I needed assistance that my online friends would be there for me too. Sometimes we just need a little support and I hope you know how much everyone truly cares about you even though we’ve never met.

        Thank you so much for your kind words Jason and just know that everything is going to work out just fine. This is just a small bump in the road for you.

        Hang in there okay!

        ~Adrienne

  5. You have expressed your self in way that is heart touching. What sort of fears you have introduced are really are among the human beings.

  6. Hi Jason

    It’s great to see you at Sly Marketing.

    I found your post really inspiring and I am sorry to hear about your current circumstances.

    You positivity is certainly a breath of fresh air!

    • It’s great to see YOU at Sly, Tim!

      Thanks so much for the vote of confidence, I really appreciate it!

      I’m kind of a natural at positivity, but I did experiment with some Pain Posts a month ago on my blog, RyzeOnline.com :)

  7. The best-laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley (often go awry) – Robert Burns, 1785
    You are thinking of the book “Of Mice and Men”, which is a novel, not to be confused with the Robert Burns poem, but it is true that John Steinbeck got his title from the poem, so in that sense, you were close.

  8. Still, the post was a good one. You make great points about the fragility of the lives with which we’ve grown so comfortable.

  9. Hi Jason, I can feel your fear, fear of loosing everything. I have been there and I prayed hard to have some means to overcome my problems of loosing everything. I am so touched by your story and I believe, you’ll get over it. Hard work with prayers, that will lead you to overcome all the difficulties in life…

    • Thanks so much, Alex! The thing about fears is often if we express them, especially in ‘public’, they disappear ;)

      It’s at the point now where I feel very at peace with the mystery of life. Every second could be a rich inheritance coming my way, or a car accident. Never know.

      We all act and pretend like everything is solid and real in society, but truly… anything can happen :)

      Much love, Alex. Thanks again!

  10. When you write Jason, you are so raw and you don’t see writing like this much these days. What you expressed is so real and when you least expect it, you get hit with “life” and you have to step back and reassess your life. Then we go back to our normal life and boom you get hit again with something else. I have heard myself say, ” Will I ever catch a break” and how I come out of it determines if what I learned from it will make me more appreciate of my own life and everything else that surrounds it.

    Excellent post and again, glad to see you over here and Jens blog. Jens, bravo my friend for hosting J here and spreading the word.

    • Thank you soooooo much, Sonia.

      This is my kind of connection. I really feel the love, and it if my posts and expressions and creations and stories can touch someone this way, I’m thrilled.

      That is EXACTLY the feeling I had.

      With one more addition:

      I am immensely positive, always finding the bright side… but I dont wanna have to do that nonstop, for my whole life.

      Wake up, get knocked down in some huge way, be positive, impress people, and repeat.

      I want a break. I want comfort. I want luxury. I want ease. I want peace. I want love. I want support. I want appreciation.

      And the truth of it is, all these things lie inside us… even when they’re hard to see.

  11. [crickets!]
    Well, either way, I’m pretty sure I’ve received traffic from here, because at least one person e-mailed me personally to say this was the “raw-est” post they’ve read, and it moved them, powerfully.

    So thank you so much Jens for the opportunity to share my story, I really appreciate you.

  12. Diane Hall says:

    Your blog post has really resonated with me. I get so tired of pretending that life’s okay; it’s like wearing a mask that gets heavier and heavier but which I can’t take off. I need to earn just a little bit of money to keep my family afloat but spend so much of my time helping people – really helping people, in any way I can – mostly for free, that there’s little surprise my bank account’s empty at the end of the month.

    I pray for a break or karma to realise my kindness isn’t going to pay my bills. I watch the people I help realise more success and affluence and get frustrated that it isn’t me, though I don’t begrudge what they achieve. Your post has made me remember that the real riches are the satisfaction and glow I get from making a difference to someone else’s life.

    I love your ethos: “Each day it could be inheritance or accident coming my way”. No one know their future and the only thing I can change is my frustration. I’d much rather change this and accept whatever fate has in store than change my personality to become harder, meaner and less compassionate.

    It disappoints me that so many business websites, blogs, books and speakers don’t give the true picture of being in business; it’s a long haul journey, not a get-rich-quick answer in life – I even think it’s one reason why businesses fail within their first three years, because they’re unprepared for how committed they have to be and how hard they have to work to get it off the ground.

    I truly admire your refusal to be seen as a victim. If ever there was the definition of an entrepreneur, it’s you….getting back up after so many failed businesses to try again shows me more about your adaptability and ambition than someone who had the good fortune to just hit upon the right idea at the right time.

    I’m sure you’ll get to where you want to, and you’ll be a much more altruistic leader as a result of your experiences.

    Thank you for sharing this, it’s meant something to me.
    Diane

    • GiantHugForDiane!

      Thank you so much, Diane. You really got what this was about.

      It was about taking off the masks and happy faces. It was about embracing the fear and pain. It was about choosing to be seen as a creator, powerful in the darkest of times, not a victim.

      And I understand why no one paints this picture of enterpreneurship — if you LIVE through it, you NEVER want to think about it or talk about it AGAIN.

      Well, most people don’t.

      And then there’s me. :)

      8 failed businesses, relationships, partnerships, and this is actually my 3rd time homeless. Many would think I was stupid or stuck in a pattern… but they’d be incorrect.

      100% incorrect.

      This is my story, I live it for myself, and for humanity, and it means something, whether people understand it or not :)

      And your story means something too Diane. Much love and fulfillment to you.

      And let me tell you, expressing this has opened up huge doors for me. Donations have been pouring in, people are actually helping me. HELPING!

      I’m not out of the woods, but help feels like heaven.

  13. Jeevan Jacob John says:

    I agree, Ryze :)

    We should embrace fear!

    We should accept it – and learn from it (my policy is to make fear our friend, even though I haven’t been able to do that completely).

    Life always throws curve balls at us – purposefully or not.

    It all happens. What we need to do is to face them (yeah, it is easy to say in words, isn’t it? Much harder to make it all happen!)

    I do respect you, Ryze. You, of all people, know the fears and face them – you embrace them. Thank you for the lesson!

    (Note: Nothing we did earlier may matter in some situations, but that does mean we should give up doing things? No, right?)

    • Yes! Jeevan! Yes!

      That is it man!

      Embrace fear! Not just in words, but in actions, in feelings. With heart!

      It’s funny you mention… because I just wrote a post about curveballs for AmberrIsMe.com, publishing soon.

      Thanks for the feedback and respect, Jeevan, it means the world to me.

      P.S. The past experiences never matter, but they often seem like one of our clearest guides :D

  14. Hi Jens,
    Good to see you again your post, very quietly brilliant to introducing your posts. The above post is good and nice clearance in that the Life is Mystery line is thinking in a new way. Thanks to share this informative post.

  15. Each one of us has our ups and downs but what matters is how we react to them. I appreciate Jason’s steadfastness; his story is inspiring. Thanks for sharing the great post.

  16. Hi Jason,
    What you have written here is very profound that I don’t even know where to start. The thing is life will always be a mystery. I remember the first time I failed my diplomate exam. The next time I took, people I didn’t know were telling me ‘good luck, you can do it.’ Just those words made me feel better. All I could do in reply to their kind words was pump my fist in a ‘yes, I can do it way.” Oh, and yes, I did pass my second try.

    • Aha! I love this, Felicia!

      Sounds like a similar journey, and life supported you as well :)

      Thank you so much for sharing, and… congratulations!

      I did just get a new laptop, so that is progress!

      Life is a mystery and I never know if things will continue this way tho lol :D

  17. Hello Jason,
    I am one of Jen’s regular readers.. I was greatly moved by reading your story, but also admire your courage deeply. May God bless you. I am sure your strength will carry you through these rough times. This post is surely going to be a great inspiration for people who have lost their homes and belongings in Superstorm Sandy. Take care, regards,Dipa

    • Wow, thank you so much, Dipa!

      I love being able to connect or touch one of Jens’ regular readers, and if I can inspire anyone to ryze up, I love it, Superstorm Sandy or otherwise.

      I really appreciate you commenting and supporting, thank you!

  18. This is such a moving and thought-provoking story. Sometimes we feel like we cannot live once we lose the things we love, but the truth is we do more things without it.

  19. This is one good story. It made my eyes water, Just hold on to your courage.

  20. Thank you so much, Jeremy! I’m not out of the woods yet, but things keep getting better, step by step!

    Every ounce of support, care, kindness, and consideration helps me so much, from keeping my business and shelter going for another night, to inspiring me when I feel beaten :)

    Thanks again!