sly : marketing

I Received a Call from a Monster

My daughter picked up the phone yesterday. She entered my office a few seconds later. She is six years old. She told me that a woman wanted to talk to me. My wife was suddenly interested. She looked surprised. I was surprised.

A woman and her lovely voice. It was soft, tender, she told me her name.

I’m not sure what I expected, but it sure wasn’t what happened next.

She told me about a new brand of tube socks, and a bargain. A special pre-launch price. Just for me.

Tube socks, for me? What just happened?

This lovely voice.

Her soft and tender voice, was suddenly transferred into complete darkness. I imagined a one eyed monster, coming straight at me. I saw her tiny hands with long fingernails coming out of the telephone and grabbing my throat. Squeezing and trying to suck all the air out of me.

This is cold calling. I’m sorry to say, but it turns every caller into a monster. They interrupt our lives, and talk about tube socks. They suck all the fun and energy out of us, and are hoping we’ll say yes, just for them to leave us alone.

The problem. It’s not their fault, they’re not monsters, they’re just trying to earn a decent living. The companies are the ones turning them into awful creatures.

I have a hard time believing that cold calling can be profitable. But if it wasn’t profitable, there would be no cold calling.

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