sly : marketing

How not to ruin a customer relationship

I believe that one of the most important parts of marketing is the part where I build (long-term) relationships with my customers.

And I love being slow. You won’t get roses on the first date.


My goal is to provide the best possible content related to my business. And that’s exactly what I am teaching my clients to do.

I am building relationships through content. One step at a time.

First impressions

The reason I focus so much on testingΒ and social proof, is because first impressions are important. We want to get attention, and we want people to stay on our websites for as long as possible.

We need to be professional.

We need to smile.

We need to create awesome content.

We need to make them want us.


We shouldn’t just focus on the first steps to a (long-term) relationship.

I don’t like to push

I like to pull. I want people to think of me as an authority. I want them to visit my site, and I want them to contact me, because they are looking for answers. And I’m the one they go to when they need answers.


I have come to realize that it’s hard to create a strong relationship if it looks like I’m trying too hard.

And, that’s why I have a technique when I publish my newsletter, that hardly makes any people complain or unsubscribe.

Create segments

It’s important that you know you’re talking to. I never send emails about anything I’m selling or any new posts to people who’ve just signed up for my newsletter. That will only get them to unsubscribe or complain.

The thing is, they need to get to know me first.

We need to get personal. They need to understand that I deliver quality, before I send them anything about any type of products or services.

I am using AWeber, and this is what I’m doing when I’m broadcasting messages (sending emails that’s not part of the autoresponder).

I have created a segment by searching for the subscribers of the newsletter.

aweber subscribers

I have only added subscribers who have already received at least one email from me before (and that includes the ebooks I am giving away as well).

creating a segment with aweber

This way I know that the people who are receiving the email is a person who already know who I am and she knows that I deliver quality content.

This is part of the process of how I build a relationship to my customers (the people who have subscribed to my newsletter).


Your turn

Do you have a similar technique, or do you believe that it’s ok to push instead of doing the pulling?

56 responses to “How not to ruin a customer relationship”

  1. Adrienne says:

    Great advice Jens!

    I feel pretty much the same way you do but in my opening email to my subscribers I let them know that I will promote products to them but I’m not like everyone else. You won’t hear from me on every single launch because I just promote products I use and enjoy.

    I also send a personal email to each new subscriber as well although they did receive my free report and a welcome email. Just adds that personal touch if they didn’t give me their phone number. If they unsubscribe then that’s okay because I’m about building relationships with my list. If they aren’t interested then I’m not for them.

    I have a feeling that everyone wants to stay on your list Jens.


    • Hi Adrienne,

      I have received your email and I know how personal and awesome it is. You’re doing everything right, and that thing about the phone call is just brilliant. You’re creating a strong bond in a few days. No wonder why you’re so successful.

  2. We know that blogging is the effective way to promoting online business. So I hope to get a short reply from you that are you using your blog to promoting your website or its only for your personal things?

  3. Ralph says:

    Jens, pulling people is the only way to go. The only way. Traditionally, as consumers, we have always been pushed. Things are hopefully changing in the way you suggest here. You said something that really resonates with me, “You have to know who you’re talking to.”

    Adriennes point about a follow up email with a personal touch is critically important. Huge. First impressions are massive too.

    Thanks for this post Jens. Great, great stuff.

  4. Joseph Hipolito says:

    Hi sir jens, this post is the one that I want to read and to know.. this is a great day for me…

  5. Bill Dorman says:

    The more you can pull people to you; the more effective you will be. It might take awhile for people to figure out who you are and what you are all about, but I am not a fan of the push method.

    I know getting out there and trying to do it on your own certainly gives you a sense of urgency. However, I do know people can detect a sense of desperation too; it doesn’t have a pleasant smell.

    I guess I’m old school because I keep trying to do it through networking alone. Maybe one day I’ll figure out a better way.

    • Hey Bill,

      It might take more time to do it through networking alone, but no doubt that you’re doing everything right. You’re making strong relationships that are going to last a lifetime.

      PS. Leonard Cohen is playing in my small town tomorrow, who would have guessed that πŸ™‚

  6. Simmeon says:

    Hi Jens,

    With new subscribers its nice to give them more of a feel of who you are and how you can help. Most just rush and start promoting and thus the bond is weak ( If it ever existed in the first place). You need to treat them as a friend, you don’t tell a friend about rubbish offers or content. You tell them about the cool stuff so that what I do.

    • Hey Simmeon,

      That’s exactly what I’m talking about. We usually buy from people we know, and we tolerate more from our friends than from strangers. So, we need to create the relationships first, before we do any type of selling.

  7. Simon Duck says:

    They say that getting a new customer is 7 times more expensive than retaining a customer. This just shows how important it is to create a strong relationship with the people you have already gained on your list of subscribers/interested people. By creating that strong link you are able promote to a strong base who are more likely to follow through, and as with my first sentence, you’ll save money whilst doing it. Also a strong user base is much more likely to promote a product for you, most of the time not even intentionally.

    Simon Duck

    • That’s awesome Simon. And that’s exactly why businesses should put more effort into customer service and use it as a marketing tool instead of just trying to avoid the most demanding customers.

      I had no idea about the “7 times more expensive”, thanks.

  8. ravi patel says:

    It’s very important that they need to get to know you first. if your customers doesn’t know you, you can’t go ahead. thanks for these nice tips.

    • Hi Ravi,

      That’s exactly how I feel. When my clients become my friends, that’s when I get lots of work (every single time). And it’s not just because of the friendship, but because they know who I am and trust me.

  9. The reason behind all businesses to increase their good customer relationship with good business ideas. If you have good number of customers and they have faith on your business products then you do not have to worry about the same. You may get more customers if you fulfill or satisfy their requirements.

  10. Chris says:

    Hi Jens,
    I started to build my newsletter some months ago, and I see I must learn a lot about it.
    One thing is to catch subscribers, another thing is to make them satisfied with your newsletter…
    Great relationship is a must, if we want to use it in our business.

  11. Great point, Jens. People who come on too strong, whether in romance or business, actually push people away. You’re smart to play the long game, Jens. Your customers will value you more when they are drawn to you!

  12. Donna Spears says:

    Hi Jens,
    This is really a powerful post! Yes I agree with your thoughts here…
    I know how hard it is to build a “strong” relationship towards your customers so it is important to value them and make them happy.

  13. richa says:

    Hey Jens
    This is a great piece of advice. Creating a strong relationship needs a lot of effort and retaining it is even a more difficult task. Everything takes time and one should be patient enough. Thanks for this informative share.

  14. Aayna says:

    Hi Jens,
    A great post!! While reading this post one quote which kept doing the rounds in my mind was ” slow and steady wins the race”. In order to indulge in a long term sustained relationship with the customer, it is significant on the part of the marketer not to push himself on the customers. A dedicated and honest effort can bring home better results. Thanks for this useful insight.

  15. Joy says:

    Hello Jens! Thanks for writing this commendable post, it has definitely been informative. I am never pushy and demanding when it comes to dealing with my clients because they have every right to decide for themselves. My primary goal is to consistently deliver the solutions they need to get the results I want.

  16. Kristine says:

    Rightly said Jens–I highly believe in the value of establishing long-term relationships with my customers. Establishing one’s credibility as a business is definitely a long, and slow process. We must learn to manage our expectations and remember that this is not going to happen overnight. Thanks!

  17. Dipa says:

    Nice post. Key to great email marketing-great subject line and a focus on the reader. Thanks for sharing!

  18. Eddie Gear says:

    if you are into building list, you definitely need to learn about segmentation, irrespective of the email marketing software you are using. There is so much more sales you can make if you segment your list or leads.

    • Hey Eddie,

      I absolutely agree.

      I’ve been terrible at adding segments to my lists, but that’s something I’m working on at the moment. I’m making a system for my clients to add several layers of segments. This way it’s so much easier to understand who the people on your list is and what they want to accomplish.

  19. Eddie Gear says:

    Forgot to mention, To be able to generate leads from your blog, you need to learn to optimize your web from in the first place, without which there will be no leads to segment.

  20. Abhishek says:

    Pushing never helps, it does not work even in the short term. I believe in providing answers to what my clients are looking for – i give them my advice which is fair and not just to sell. There are times when I forgo some business due to this but in the long run it works for me since my clients know me well and they know that I will always give them a fair advice and my relationship with them is not just based on money only….

    • That’s exactly what I’m saying. Pushing might help to get attention, but after you get attention it’s so much better that you didn’t start with pushing, because the relationship is completely different with pushing than if you started out with a technique that pulls.

  21. Nawaz says:

    Because of potential in website a site becomes marketing site when it is enlisted in organic searches and visitors become customer when contents have magical effect.

  22. Big organizations manage all their customer interactions right from the lead generation to the support stage with the help of a good CRM software, which records all your customer interactions. It gives you a great deal of information on the analytical side also. This brings about a change on the way you manage your customers.

  23. Elaine Salt says:

    Creating a positive first impression is crucial in establishing a lasting customer relationship. Of course, you shouldn’t focus mainly on creating a good positive impression, but you should also maintain a good communication and relationship with your current customers or readers. Promoting good customer service in your business is the key to establishing a harmonious relationship with your valued patrons and readers.

  24. Nina Corales says:

    Every marketer or seller must aim to attract more new customers. But they should not neglect their present customers because they can also help you attract more people to your business.

  25. Mei Mayore says:

    You can attract and please more customers if you will maintain your positive image and provide a good customer service.

  26. Nina Corales says:

    One way to maintain a great relationship with your customer is to keep an open communication with them. Consumers love it when they are given the freedom to express their opinion or feedback on a product. Also, do not forget to heighten your customers service to increase your happy customers.

  27. jack says:

    thank you for providing this information. customer is everything in business, without them there is no cash flow, no cash flow means business will be lost. hopefully this helps me in running my business. thank you peter

  28. Remy Santos says:

    Creating a good relation with your client is necessary to keep you in business. Sometimes it takes a while before you gain what you expect. Some may turn their back, but some will remain and they will help you out to create more connections and invite more clients. This information is really a great help.

  29. Leny Turns says:

    Creating and building a good relation to your client is a good thing to have a successful conversation with them. Getting their heart and their trust is is one of the secret ways. I agree that you should know whom are you talking to so that you will be able to know how to deal with them. Thanks for this information!

    • I talked to a group of business people yesterday about the importance of creating strong relationships, and the feedback I got was very interesting. All of them agreed that it was very important, but most of them didn’t realized that it was part of marketing.

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